Have you been yelling at your child and arguing with your husband lately? Not touching household chores and not wanting to do anything? It seems like just a little more and something will happen. Something bad or someone will get hurt. Familiar feelings?
Yes, you're just tired and burned out. You have a very active child who constantly demands attention and doesn't give you a minute to rest, and everyday chores haven't been canceled either. But don't think you're a bad or somehow wrong wife and mother. You're fine. And burnout is a common phenomenon that happens to every mom at least once.
But don't worry, this problem can be solved. All you need is to learn how to manage your time so that you have a few hours a week for yourself, and you'll see how everything changes.
Think it's easier said than done? But it's really possible. How? We'll tell you in this article.
How does parents' emotional stability affect a child's development?
First, take control of yourself and decide to act—strive to ensure that burnout doesn't overtake you again. This is important. Your emotional state determines the atmosphere in the family, which affects your child's development.
Right now, the foundations of who your child will be in adulthood are being laid—persistent, confident, purposeful, strong, or shy, modest, passive, and prone to depression.
Balanced and strong people grow up in families where there are good relationships between family members. Where parents don't lose their temper, don't argue, and don't resolve conflicts in front of the child, but instead demonstrate love, support, and mutual respect. Where they don't yell at the little one when they throw a tantrum or don't listen, but help them cope with emotions and relieve mental tension.
Now, think back to yourself lately. What did you do when your child threw a tantrum because you weren't paying attention to them? Did you yell, spank, or just ignore them?
Of course, what else can you expect from a tired mom.
At such moments, the child experiences conflicting feelings. Because the mom they love didn't support them and didn't meet their expectations.
Thus, they lose their support and confidence in their safety. And if such situations repeat periodically, the child grows up anxious, insecure, and emotionally unstable.
But you don't want that, do you? So set everything aside and start working on your own level of happiness. And we'll give you a few simple tips on where to find time for this.
8 tips on how a mom can properly manage her time
So, let's agree right away—we save time not to do more, but to pay attention to ourselves. Okay?
If your child is very active and spends most of their time with you, then:
1. Plan tomorrow today
In the evening, after putting your child to bed, sit down and think about what you absolutely need to do tomorrow: cook, clean, go for a walk, etc. Then write everything down on a sticky note or in a planner on your phone.
The list might be too long, so prioritize the most important tasks. Think about which chores you could do with your child so they don't distract you.
2. Do things together with your child
Need to clean? Great! Let your child help you. For example, while you vacuum, give them a cloth to dust as best they can. If you need to wash dishes, put a stool and hand your child a sponge with soap. Let them stand next to you and participate in the process. Believe me, this approach has only benefits—work gets done, the child is occupied, and gradually learns to help their parents.
3. Stock up in advance
You probably make lists before going to the store. Good. Now turn on "prediction mode" and think about which products, household chemicals, medications, and other items might run out next month, and stock up on everything in advance. It's better to have a reserve so you don't have to run to the stores later.
4. Shop in online stores
Yes, of course, it's nicer to walk around the stores, touch, smell, choose, but not when there's a little "energizer" next to you who needs constant supervision. So save your nerves and buy everything you can in online stores. All goods will be delivered to your home, and you'll save time.
5. Call for help
Does grandma live nearby? Great! Ask her to help. Don't be shy—this is your real chance to get a few hours for yourself. And if grandmas live in another country, discuss with your husband the option of hiring a nanny. There's nothing wrong with that. Explain that this way you'll be able to give him much more attention than you do now.
6. Turn on cartoons
At least twice a day for 30 minutes. Believe me, it won't do any harm, and you'll have at least an hour of free time. Plus, today's cartoons not only entertain but also teach something.
7. Take it easy
It's okay if your home isn't perfectly clean. It's not a problem if your family has an unhealthy dinner once in a while. It's not scary if your child goes out in a wrinkled T-shirt. Take it easy and find compromises. Believe me, no one has died from this, but many families have fallen apart due to maternal burnout.
8. Come up with games your child will enjoy playing alone
Observe your child and see what they like to do most. For example, many boys love to tinker with dad's tools, and girls with mom's makeup. Remove anything that could harm the child or your interior items, and let them play to their heart's content. At least 20–30 minutes of free time are guaranteed.
Games for children can be different, but in any case, each of them contributes to development. Below are games that are great for both very active and more sedentary children.
"Treasure Hunt"
For children 3–5 years old. Gives you 15 to 30 minutes of free time.
The essence of the game!
Take 5–6 items and hide them in different hidden places around the house, but so that the child can find them. You can use favorite toys or sweets as "treasures." Place sticky notes with clues near the places where the "treasures" are hidden. For example: if you hid the "treasure" in a dresser, place a sticky note with an arrow nearby, and the child will know where to look.
How to play?
Tell your child: "A magician came to us today and left treasures for you all over the house. But I don't know where they're hidden, you have to find them yourself. Start with the bedroom and look at the clues, they'll help you find the treasure."
During this game, the child will get excited and happily find all the hidden "treasures." This game will teach the child patience, without which it's impossible to achieve any goal.
"Naval Fleet"
For children 2–5 years old. Gives you up to 30 minutes of free time.
The essence of the game!
You'll need foam, toothpicks, paper, and a plastic drinking straw. Take a small basin and fill it with water. Cut small circles from the foam—these will be the boats. Then cut small rectangles from the paper—these will be the sails. Pierce the sail with a toothpick and stick it into the foam. Make 5–7 boats and launch them into the basin.
How to play?
Give your child a plastic straw and tell them to make wind and make the boats sail. The boats start moving, colliding, and overturning. And to make it even more interesting, place small toys on them and suggest arranging a naval battle between the fleets.
All children love playing with water, so you can be sure your child will enjoy it. Moreover, such a game not only entertains but also helps develop the child's lungs.
"Pillow Fort"
For children 3–5 years old. Gives 30 to 60 minutes of free time.
The essence of the game!
Pillows aren't toys, they're something new, which is already a plus. Gather decorative pillows from all the sofas, beds, and chairs in the house, pile them in one place, and suggest your child build a fort where they can live with their favorite toys.
First, you'll gain time while the fort is being built, then while the toys live there, and again when the structure collapses, turning into an improvised trampoline for jumping. Total—up to an hour of free time guaranteed.
Of course, all children are different. And the games that captivate one child for a long time may not interest another. So focus on age, temperament, interests, and try different games for your children.
Let's summarize
Parenting is a difficult and lengthy process in which parents play the main role. Only you determine who your child will grow up to be. Therefore, if you feel emotional and physical burnout, don't push yourself to the limit trying to do everything. Recognize the value of personal time and set aside your chores. Even if it's just 15 minutes alone with yourself, they will make the next hours spent with your child happy.
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