Parental prohibition rules: what to do if the child does not understand the word "NO"

Moms complain, "I tell the baby, don't get in there!" It is as if he does not hear and does his own. I try to explain it in a good way, to reach him with words, but he does not understand me.

At the same time, as a child begins to crawl, and then walk, he actively explores the world around him and wants to touch everything, climb everywhere, taste. It's normal. This is how development happens and it is during this period that he often begins to hear the word “no” from his mother and father. But the problem is that children in 2-3 years do not understand its meaning. What should parents do in this case? How to ensure the safety of your child when there is no reaction to prohibitions?

What should be forbidden to children

About a century ago, the dangers of prohibitions were not even thought about. The value system presupposed respect for elders and unquestioning obedience. Since then, the approach to education has changed a lot.

It became clear that today’s children are not enough just to hear the word “no”. Therefore, some moms and dads tried to explain the cause-and-effect relationship to the child, affecting his mind. Some, on the contrary, prohibited less so as not to deprive the child of the opportunity to learn the world and develop.

To avoid confusion, let’s figure out what children should not do so that the whole family lives calmly and happily:

1. Expose yourself to danger (this includes everything that threatens the health and life of the child).
2. Take someone else's without asking.
3. Fight and beat others.
4. Offend animals.
5. To run away from my parents.
6. Play with fire.
7. Climb the windowsills (especially if you live in a multi-storey building).
8. Play with fire.
9. Violate morals.
10. Do not communicate with strange strangers.

This list, of course, does not pretend to be true, and each family may have its own rules and prohibitions. But to make it easier for you to navigate, always remember that you are primarily a parent, not a dictator. Before you ban something, think about whether you really need to do it. Or maybe let the child get dirty once again, but have fun, and the washing machine easily solves the problem with dirty clothes.

How to Prohibit

Many parents consider the word “no” a magic pill, thinking that you will tell his child and he will immediately obey. But that doesn't work!

In order not to quarrel with the child on the basis of disobedience, it is better to follow certain rules of education:

There shouldn't be too many prohibitions.

It is necessary to try to ensure that the main prohibitions concern only what can harm the health and life of a child, other people or animals.

It should be a constant ban so that the child learns and understands it.

Mom and Dad should stick to the same position and not change the prohibitions depending on the mood. If you can not climb on the windowsill and walk on it, then you can not always.

If possible, use an alternative rather than a ban.

For example, instead of saying that you can not paint wallpaper, you can suggest painting on a piece of paper. If there is no alternative, you need to calmly and clearly speak locked several times until the child hears.

Say “no” calmly, even if you have to repeat it several times.

If the child does not respond to the prohibition and continues to do their own, you need to calmly talk to him and explain what feelings you have his actions, as well as explain why you can not, how to behave in this case.

Revise and transform prohibitions based on your child’s age

For example, a one-year-old child is not allowed to touch scissors because he can hurt them. At 5 years old, you can learn to use them under the supervision of your parents.

If the child reacts negatively to the word “NO”, what to do

We want to draw attention to another important point – mom and dad need to be prepared for the fact that the child will react negatively to prohibitions. But first a few words about why this happens.

The brain of a child is designed so that the processes of excitation in him dominate the processes of slowing down. If he is interested in some activity, it is more difficult for him to stop than to start.

Therefore, even if the child realized that something can not be done, he can not always control his actions and immediately stop. Young children simply cannot live without activity, their psyche is very unstable.

How children usually respond to prohibitions:

• Angry, show aggression, cry;
• Manipulate and try to achieve their goals in any way;
• Take calmly and comply with the request of parents (this reaction is less common).

So, if the child does not understand “no”, always try to negotiate with him in a good way and find a compromise so as not to traumatize either him or yourself.

Some parents start slapping their children on the arms every time they approach a forbidden object. But it is better not to do so, because you can forever discourage their desire and interest in learning a new, exploring the world around them. In addition, children accumulate resentment and anger towards parents, which in the future can result in various problems with the psyche and behavior.

Try to pull yourself together and calmly respond to the resistance of the child. Talk out loud about the emotions your son or daughter is experiencing: “You’re angry, I understand.” You're upset that I'm forbidding you... But you understand that I do not allow it to you not just because ...

Always reinforce the prohibitions with arguments, then the child will surely hear and understand you.

• Be consistent in your education. Always adhere to established prohibitions and rules, otherwise children feel very good when mom and dad “give slack”.
• Form prohibitions and rules as clearly, briefly and unambiguously as possible.
• For children 3-4 years old, confirm the ban with action: take the hand away from a dangerous place, take away a prohibited item, help switch to alternative activities.
• Help your child develop emotional intelligence so he can understand and accept his feelings and cope with his emotions.

And remember! Parents are the most important people for a child, with whom he takes an example and thanks to whom he learns to live. Listen to your child more often, answer his questions, show care, spend time together and then he will trust you and obey you when you say the word “no”.