«Mom, where did I come from?», «Why are boys and girls different?», «Why is that man like that?», «What's that you have there?» and a million more «What?», «Why?», and «How?» we hear every day from our growing children. Some questions we answer easily, while others leave us stumped, making us blush and breathe heavily.
In this article, you will learn how to properly answer the most tricky questions from children without embarrassment or stress.
But before we go through the most «awkward» questions, let's talk about some rules so that next time you won't be confused and will know what to answer.
Just in case, grab a pen and notebook.
5 main rules for answering awkward questions from your child!
Don't lie
Yes, even if the question is very «awkward». If the child asks you where they came from, don't say you bought them in a store or that a stork brought them. Don't lose their trust.
Don't answer in detail
Tell the truth without going into details. You can tell the child that they came from mommy's tummy, but don't explain how they got there. Everything has its time.
If you don't know what to answer, say so
«I don't know how to answer your question right now. Let's think together or look for the answer in books or on the internet.»
Don't laugh at the child's questions
No matter how silly they may seem to you. The child is exploring the world, and what they ask is truly important to them. Respect their interest and always try to answer.
Be attentive and dig deeper
Sometimes questions hide something more than simple curiosity. For example: «Mom, why did you give birth to me?». Such a question may signal that the child is scared or lacks your attention.
So be attentive not to miss anything and help in time.
Examples of answers to «awkward» questions
1. Where did I come from?
Age: from 3 years
What to answer: You came from my tummy. At first, you were small and swam there like a fish. Then you grew, it became cramped in the tummy, and you came out.
Older children can be given a more detailed explanation of the fertilization process. For example, take Don Wurhis's book «All About It – Quick and Tasty» and read it together.
2. Why are boys and girls different?
Age: 2 – 4 years.
What to answer: That's how nature works. People and animals have differences so they can have children when they grow up. But boys and girls also have a lot in common. Let's think about what we have in common? (or what do you have in common with your dad/mom/brother/sister?)
3. Mom, will you die? Will I die too?
Age: 3 – 4 years.
What to answer: Yes. All living beings have their own lifespan: plants, animals, people. That's how nature works. But first, we live a long and interesting life. First, we are all small, like you. Then we grow up, go to school, then to university. And when we become adults, we have a family and children.
You will live a very long and happy life. Don't think about anything and enjoy life.
The main thing is to stay calm during this conversation. Because the child senses you and reads your inner state. If you are calm when discussing such topics, the child won't be afraid of anything.
4. Why is that person like that?
Age: from 3 – 4 years.
Children start asking such questions when they see people who are different from them and their parents. At the same time, they may point and ask loudly so you answer them quickly.
What to answer: All people are different. Our appearance is shaped by family genetics and other life circumstances. This person is like that because (find a more accessible explanation so the child can understand).
In life, you will meet different people, but differences don't mean bad, each of us has our own characteristics, and you do too.
5. Why don't you like my grandmother?
Age: from 4 years
A child may ask such a question if they notice your negative relationship with their grandmother. In this case, don't lie and explain honestly.
What to answer: Adults sometimes argue because their opinions don't match. Your grandmother and I don't get along because (your reason), but this doesn't affect her relationship with you. Your grandmother is a good person and loves you very much.
6. Mom, I want to too? Why can't I?
Age: from 3 – 4 years.
This question is about what you or others do, but the child is not allowed to do. For example, you smoke. The child says: «Mom or dad, what are you doing? I want to try too!». Here it's very important to explain to the child why they can't and why you don't want them to do the same.
What to answer: I smoke. It's a bad habit that I'm trying to get rid of, but I can't yet. I know it's bad for my health, so I don't want you to copy me and harm yourself. Look at what happens to the lungs of a smoker (show a picture) – you shouldn't even try. I'm doing everything to get rid of this habit.
Don't be lazy and try to talk to the child so they understand that smoking is really bad and shouldn't be done.
7. Why am I like this?
Age: a child of any age who goes to kindergarten or school can ask this question.
Most often, these are questions about their appearance, speech, and characteristics. And they arise if other children draw attention to them.
What to answer: You are the way nature made you. You are unique, like every person. We are all different and each has their own characteristics, but it's neither good nor bad. It's just the way it should be. Everyone will have their own opinion about your appearance, and that's normal too. Just as you may like someone and not like someone else.
8. Why don't we live in as big a house as our neighbors?
Age: from 4 years
What to answer: We don't need such a big house yet. When you have a brother or sister, we'll think about moving, but for now, we have enough space here.
Don't tell the child about the lack of funds and don't burden their little mind with adult problems. They'll grow up and understand everything. But at the same time, remember such questions to teach the child financial literacy.
9. Why do you and dad argue?
Age: from 3 years
What to answer: Sometimes when people talk, they don't agree with each other and start arguing. And that happens between your dad and me. But even if we argue, we still make up later because we love each other and you.
In such situations, it's important to make the child understand that they are not to blame and are not the cause of your argument.
Always listen carefully to your children, be sincere with them, and always answer their questions. Even if you've had some negative experience in life related to a particular question, learn to answer in a timely manner – calmly, honestly, and competently. Then your child will always come to you for advice and won't seek help elsewhere.
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