Do you want your child to learn well, be able to achieve goals and easily find a common language with people? Start developing your emotional intelligence right now. Read more about the benefits of emotional intelligence and how to develop it in this article.
What is Emotional Intelligence
30 years ago, the term was not so popular. It was believed that a person learns to control his feelings throughout life and for this purpose nothing special need to be done. However, one question haunted psychologists: why do so many highly intelligent people fail to succeed in life?
It turned out that in addition to a high IQ, a person should have developed EQ skills (emotional intelligence, hereinafter - EI), which will help to keep themselves in control in stressful situations, easily converge with people, bring things to the end, achieve goals and conquer even the most inaccessible peaks. In fact, the development of EI is the work on these skills. And believe me, it is much more difficult than learning to read, write and count.
Unfortunately, this is not taught in ordinary schools, so it is important for parents to take care of the emotional intelligence of the child themselves.
Why develop emotional intelligence in a child
Most parents focus on school performance and the development of the child’s academic skills, forgetting about the emotional sphere. But psychologists have proven that it directly affects academic success.
Guys who have well-developed emotional intelligence, better concentrate, easier to converge with peers, cope with difficult situations and are able to empathize.
Children with undeveloped EI, on the contrary, have difficulties in communicating with classmates and teachers, are painful about failures, have low or average academic performance. A couple of examples about how emotional intelligence can help to cope with different situations.
1. The child begins to understand their feelings and can control them.
For example, a toy was taken from a child on the playground. His first reaction was screaming and crying. Then a fight could ensue. The reason is a storm of emotions that drives the little man at this moment. There is resentment, and fear, and anger, and lack of understanding of what to do. ¶
The child is lost in his feelings and can not cope with them, so he reacts to the situation as he can. But if he understands what is happening to him and why, he will pull himself together and figure out how to return the toy. For example, it will come and explain to the offender.. You don't have to play together and ask permission before you take someone else's stuff.
2. He “reads” the emotions of others.
This skill helps to find a common language with other children, make new acquaintances, understand people - distinguish good qualities from bad ones, make friends. In addition, learning to understand the feelings of others, the child becomes more responsible and realizes that “as back, and respond”, so “do to others as you want to be done to you.”
For example, a child with developed EI understands that you need to share with friends. Because if they don't share, they'll think he's unfriendly and greedy, they won't play with him anymore. He'll be bored alone.
Therefore, the development of emotional intelligence in children is so important to start in preschool age.
Features of emotional intelligence in children
Already in preschool and primary school age, children can notice a significant difference in emotional behavior. There are very sensitive guys, there are emotionally stable, and also without vivid expression of emotions. The latter are more often said to be “impenetrable” or “even”. At the same time, all children share common emotional traits:
- frankness and directness;
- positive and optimistic;
- emotional responsiveness;
- Fear of the unknown;
- a sharp change in mood in different situations;
- Inability to correctly identify the emotions of others.
The development of EI helps to work out weak qualities and strengthen strong ones, so that children become more stress-resistant.
How to determine the level of emotional intelligence in a child
For primary diagnosis, simple tests that can be performed with the child on their own are suitable:
Simple home test
Watch your child for 2-3 days and see:
- How does he relate to other children?
- How many times she smiles, is angry, cries, is sad
- Does he show his emotions appropriately?
For example:
If the child easily gets acquainted with children on the court, is included in the game, then communication skills he has everything in order.
A variety of emotions in a child indicates its harmonious development.
If a five-year-old lost the game and started crying, that's fine. And if you start fighting with the winners, you should think about it.
Free test for teachers and parents
This test will help to understand how the child looks at the world of people, the world of things, at himself and another person.
The more yes answers, the better the child develops EI. In educational institutions, child psychologists analyze the answers and make a more detailed psychological portrait of children.
How to develop emotional intelligence in a child
Psychologists recommend:
- Talk to the baby more. It is necessary to discuss the surrounding world, the actions of other children and adults, to tell what is good and bad, to give examples. So the child will understand what is happening around and learn to build their attitude to the world.
- Discuss the actions of the heroes of fairy tales and cartoons, why they did so, and not otherwise, could they do differently, etc.
- Discuss feelings and emotions, ask the child why he is upset and what situation caused this feeling.
- Do not devalue the desires and feelings of the child.
- Be honest with the child. Do not try to protect the child from the imperfections of this world, but teach in everything to find positive sides.
Games for the development of EI children 4 – 6 years
Smiley's game
You can take a screenshot of emojis from your phone and print them on an A4 sheet. Then cut and ask the child to guess the emotion by the smiley. And to consolidate, ask him to depict the guessed emotion.
Home play
To better understand the feelings and emotions of the heroes of your favorite fairy tale, you can arrange a home play with toys. Let the child choose his characters and take part in the game.
"Mirror."
The essence of the game is that the child must guess what emotion the adult shows without words. Then you can switch roles and play a big team. Whoever has the most right answers wins.
"I'm sad and I'm happy when ..."
You can talk with your child about situations and moments that cause different situations, for example: “I get upset when I do not succeed”, “I am happy when the weather is good outside”.
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