Today, more moms and dads around the world are more mindful of raising children than they were 30 years ago. It is good that there is a lot of different information on this topic. It remains only to choose those methods that will not argue with personal values and fit comfortably into the lifestyle of the family. So, for all parents who want to raise not only a talented child, but also a happy person, we recommend reading the article about the main rules of raising children in the family.
1. If you want to instill good habits, set your own example.
Here everything is simple – you want your child not to drink soda and eat fast food, but prefer healthy foods and do exercises, show an example. Eat more vegetables and fruits, do not buy chips and junk drinks, exercise at home or go to the gym. If you say one thing and do another, your child will not hear your words, but will follow your example.
2. Be consistent in your education.
Unsystematicity leads to stress in both children and parents. For example, today you allow your child to eat sweets, and tomorrow candy, chocolate, cookies are completely forbidden. Or today you can sleep in the same bed with your parents, but tomorrow you can’t. ¶
In education, as in training, the consistency and gradual formation of habits are important. If you, for example, decided that a son or daughter should begin to help with cleaning the house, then let the child first learn to wash the dishes behind him and make the bed. And when the habit is formed, move on to the next stage - wiping dust or putting order in the rooms.
3. Help, but do not do for the child.
If a 5-year-old says it’s hard for him to clean up his toys or get dressed, don’t rush to drop everything and do it for him. In most cases, this is pure manipulation by the child. Also with independent eating and other basic things. Therefore, do not do for a child what he can easily do for himself because of his age. Do not deprive him of the opportunity to learn independence.
4. Give your son or daughter enough attention.
Perhaps this is one of the main rules of raising a child. For a small person, the attention of parents is very valuable. He needs to feel that adults listen to him and hear him, and not go about their business and perceive his stories in the background. Therefore, try during communication with the child not to be distracted by extraneous matters, show your sincere interest and spend time with the child qualitatively.
5. Listen carefully.
In addition to attention, an important element of building a trusting relationship with children is communication. Talk to your child about various topics and always listen carefully. Children no less than adults need full communication and respect from loved ones.
Talk about everything that interests your son or daughter, answer questions. Children are much better at adapting to life and controlling their condition when they are explained what is happening around them, why they have certain emotions. For example, the child did not buy a toy and was upset. Parents need to explain why their desire is not fulfilled and how to respond to it. An open and trusting conversation can help satisfy a child’s desire.
6. Teach your child to defend their point of view
Being able to form your own opinion, as well as defend it, is an important skill that will be very useful in adult life. And here it all starts with the fact that you need to slightly reduce control and give the child more often to make decisions on their own.
For example, choose what to wear or what groceries to buy in the store to make dinner. If your child has a problem, listen carefully first, and then try to find a suitable solution together. It is important that he learns to draw conclusions based on his mistakes.
To teach your son or daughter to stand up for your point of view, let me argue with you. Explain that his opinion may not coincide with others and there is nothing wrong with the argument. It is important that the dispute does not turn into a conflict, so you need to learn how to conduct a constructive dialogue.
7. Support your child and believe in them.
This is another important rule of raising children in the family. Since childhood, a child must feel that he is unique and unique, like his mother and father, as well as other people around him. The perception of the child’s “I” will form from an early age, will depend on his success in the future in all areas of life.
Therefore, always support the child’s aspirations for creativity, experimentation, notice his interests and carefully help to survive failures. Do not forget about the regular correct motivation: instead of dry "Good job!", use the phrase "We will always support you!", "We believe in you!", "You will succeed!".
8. Let’s make mistakes and don’t drink for it.
If your child makes a mistake or misses, you should not:
- emphasize this;
- overreact emotionally;
- remembering past failures;
- call the child insulting words "incompetence", "stupid", "fit for nothing", etc.;
- put pressure on guilt;
- Shame and read morals.
You have to tell me that it is normal to be wrong. Failures and mistakes are life experiences that help to draw conclusions and next time to act in a similar situation correctly or completely prevent it.
9. Avoid rhetorical questions with negative messages.
“How many times do I tell you?”, “When are you going to grow up?”, “Are you okay?”
The child may not understand the meaning of the question itself, but it reads well the subtext: “If my mother says so, then I am bad”, “Something is wrong with me”. Such messages destroy the psyche of the child and it is definitely not an effective tool for communication.
Refusing rhetorical questions, moms and dads will increase the chances of achieving cooperation from their child without wasted nerves and tantrums.
10. Put everything into play.
No matter how much we talk about the rules of parenting, the way to the heart of every child is through play. Play is the main activity of children of preschool and primary school age. Therefore, if you want your child to easily agree to your request, invite him to play. Whoever picks up the toys quickly wins!
Joint pastime, warm communication, games and family traditions are all a reliable foundation for building a trusting relationship with a child. As Oscar Wilde said, “The best way to make children good is to raise them happy.”
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